AN INTERVIEW WITH AN ADMISSIONS OFFICER
He still had a hundred essays to read before 6:00 p.m., and he
was beginning to grow tired. My interview with him would offer a
brief break from the Herculean task of narrowing ten thousand
applicants to a freshman class of nine hundred.
?I hope your book works,? he joked, ?so maybe next year I won?t
have to read five hundred essays about the yearlong drama of being
student council president. I?m sorry, but successful car washes
just don?t make for enthralling reading.?
I smiled. He rubbed his eyes.
?On a Wednesday in the middle of March this job gets tough.
Sometimes it seems that there are only four types of essays: the
?class president essay, the ?I lost but learned? sports essay, the
?I went to Europe and learned how complex the world is? essay, and
the good old ?being yearbook editor sure is hard work? essay. When
I read one of those, it takes amazing willpower to get to the third
paragraph.?
?So sometimes you don?t read the whole essay?? I asked.
?No comment,? he replied, changing the subject. ?I wish students
would realize that when they write they should have something to
say. They should try to present their values and priorities by
writing on a subject that really means something to them, because,
other than the essay, all I have is a bunch of test scores and
activities: ten thousand sets of numbers and facts. I?d like to be
able to see beyond that. I want to see what makes someone
tick.?
?But couldn?t that be dangerous?? I asked. ?What if someone
writes something really bizarre, just to avoid being ?boring?? Can
strange ideas or comments hurt an applicant??
?Well, if someone expressed homicidal tendencies, it would
probably have a negative effect. Still, you?d be surprised how
tolerant we are. A few years ago, we had a kid from Palestine
apply. In his essay, he endorsed Yassir Arafat and the PLO. As far
as he was concerned, Israel had usurped the rightful land of his
people and should be treated as a criminal state. The admissions
officer who covered the Middle East was an Orthodox Jew. Not only
did the student get in, but he graduated with honors in political
science.
?In fact, being offbeat or daring is usually a plus, as long as
the student stays in control of his writing. The essays which are
most ef- fective seize a topic with confidence and imagination. Too
many applicants treat their essay like a minefield. They walk
around on tiptoe, avoiding anything controversial. Of course, the
essay comes out two-dimensional, flat, and boring. It seems like
many essays have been read, proofread, and reproofread until all
the life has been sucked out. I wish kids would just relax and not
try to guess what the admissions committee is looking for. As soon
as they start playing that game, they?re going to lose. The essay
won?t be from the heart, and it won?t work.
?The great essays?good writers discussing something of personal
importance?stick out like diamonds in a coal bin. When we?re
sorting through the last few hundred applications, an essay that
sticks out in an admissions officer?s mind has got to help the
applicant who wrote it.?
?How important is it to be a good writer?? I asked.
?Writing style tells you a lot about the way a person thinks. I
like when a student brings a sense of style to a piece, as a good
essayist or editorial writer would do. I?ve always advocated
reading the essays of E. B. White as a means of preparing for
writing the essay. I also suggest that students read the editorial
pages of the local newspaper. But we never discount the student who
writes a simple, even awkward, essay that is sincere and
moving.
?That?s why I urge students to write as they would in a diary or
a letter to a friend. When you write a letter, you may ramble, but
when you?re finished, your letter sounds like something you would
really say.?
?So an honest, personal essay is best??
?No, there is no ?best? type of essay. But when a ?personal?
essay is done well, it can be very effective. The best I?ve ever
read was written about fifteen years ago by a football recruit. His
application was perfect: high school all-America quarterback,
president of his class, 3.8 GPA, and a mile-long list of
extracurriculars. But his essay was about his stuttering. He wrote
about his loneliness in junior high, about the girls who laughed at
him, and about the wall he built around himself. Since football was
something he really loved, he buried himself in it, spending
afternoons in the weight room and nights in front of a mirror,
practicing words and signals so he wouldn?t embarrass himself by
stuttering on the field.
?When you put an essay like that beside one of those
self-absorbed recitals of high school achievements?there?s just no
comparison.?
I decided to change the subject a little. ?What really irritates
you in an essay??
?Arrogance and pretentiousness are bad, but the only thing that
really bugs me is when a student doesn?t put his personality into
an essay. I always hear parents and students complain that colleges
don?t look so much at the individual student as they do at scores,
grades, and class rank, so I?m disappointed when students don?t
take advantage of the only place in the application that allows
them to express their individuality.?
?Okay, then,? I asked, ?what do you really like to see??
?I always enjoy essays where the author realizes that he?s
writing for an audience of real human beings. I also like essays
with a touch of excitement and enthusiasm, and I like an applicant
who demonstrates the ability to look at himself from the outside.
And, of course, wit never hurts.?
?So should applicants try to write funny essays??
? ?Funny? isn?t a good word, because there?s a fine line between
something that is humorous and something that is obnoxious or
in……