Author Lemony Snicket aka Daniel Handler reads volumes three
and four of his Series of Unfortunate Events saga. A snappy, techno
tune by a group called the Gothic Archies serves as toe-tapping
introduction to Handler''s chipper performance of his humorously
melodramatic tales. The first two audiobooks in the series,
performed by British actor Tim Curry, were released by Listening
Library in March.
Grade 5-7-This is ＂Book the Third＂ in a series about the wealthy
and clever but unfortunate
內容簡介：
Dear Reader,
If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then
before you read even one more sentence, you should know this:
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but
their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and
misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy
and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.If you
haven′t got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a
signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible
villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will
probably fill you with despair.I will continue to record these
tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide
for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable
story.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
關於作者：
Lemony Snicket is the pen name of Daniel Handler, who was born
on February 28, 1970. As Lemony Snicket, he is the author of and
appears as a character in the children''s book series A Series of
Unfortunate Events. He has also written or contributed to other
works under the pen name of Lemony Snicket that are not related to
A Series of Unfortunate Events including Baby in the Manger, The
Lump of Coal, and The Composer is Dead. Under his real name,
Handler is the author of several books for adults including The
Basic Eight, Watch Your Mouth, and Adverbs.
內容試閱：
Chapter One
If you didn''t know much about the Baudelaire orphans, and you saw
them sitting on their suitcases at Damocles Dock, you might think
that they were bound for an exciting adventure. After all, the
three children had just disembarked from the Fickle Ferry, which
had driven them across Lake Lachrymose to live with their Aunt
Josephine, and in most cases such a situation would lead to
thrillingly good times.
But of course you would be dead wrong. For although Violet,
Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were about to experience events that
would be both exciting and memorable, they would not be exciting
and memorable like having your fortune told or going to a rodeo.
Their adventure would be exciting and memorable like being chased
by a werewolf through a field of thorny bushes at midnight with
nobody around to help you. If you are interested in reading a story
filled with thrillingly good times, I am sorry to inform you that
you are most certainly reading the wrong book, because the
Baudelaires experience very few good times over the course of their
gloomy and miserable lives. It is a terrible thing, their
misfortune, so terrible that I can scarcely bring myself to write
about it. So if you do not want to read a story of tragedy and
sadness, this is your very last chance to put this book down,
because the misery of the Baudelaire orphans begins in the very
next paragraph.
"Look what I have for you," Mr. Poe said, grinning from ear to
ear and holding out a small paper bag. "Peppermints!" Mr. Poe was a
banker who had been placed in charge of handling the affairs of the
Baudelaire orphans after their parents died. Mr. Poe was
kindhearted, but it is not enough in this world to be kindhearted,
particularly if you are responsible for keeping children out of
danger. Mr. Poe had known the three children since they were born,
and could never remember that they were allergic to
peppermints.
"Thank you, Mr. Poe," Violet said, and took the paper bag and
peered inside. Like most fourteen-year-olds, Violet was too well
mannered to mention that if she ate a peppermint she would break
out in hives, a phrase which here means "be covered in red, itchy
rashes for a few hours." Besides, she was too occupied with
inventing thoughts to pay much attention to Mr. Poe. Anyone who
knew Violet would know that when her hair was tied up in a ribbon
to keep it out of her eyes, the way it was now, her thoughts were
filled with wheels, gears, levers, and other necessary things for
inventions. At this particular moment she was thinking of how she
could improve the engine of the Fickle Ferry so it wouldn''t belch
smoke into the gray sky.
"That''s very kind of you," said Klaus, the middle Baudelaire
child, smiling at Mr. Poe and thinking that if he had even one lick
of a peppermint, his tongue would swell up and he would scarcely be
able to speak. Klaus took his glasses off and wished that Mr. Poe
had bought him a book or a newspaper instead. Klaus was a voracious
reader, and when he had learned about his allergy at a birthday
party when he was eight, he had immediately read all his parents''
books about allergies. Even four years later he could recite the
chemical formulas that caused his tongue to swell up.
"Toi!" Sunny shrieked. The youngest Baudelaire was only an
infant, and like many infants, she spoke mostly in words that were
tricky to understand. By "Toi!" she probably meant "I have never
eaten a peppermint because I suspect that I, like my siblings, am
allergic to them," but it was hard to tell. She may also have meant
"I wish I could bite a peppermint, because I like to bite things
with my four sharp teeth, but I don''t want to risk an allergic
reaction."
"You can eat them on your cab ride to Mrs. Anwhistle''s house,"
Mr. Poe said, coughing into his white handkerchief. Mr. Poe always
seemed to have a cold and the Baudelaire orphans were accustomed to
receiving information from him between bouts of hacking and
wheezing. "She apologizes for not meeting you at the dock, but she
says she''s frightened of it."
"Why would she be frightened of a dock?" Klaus asked, looking
around at the wooden piers and sailboats.
"She''s frightened of anything to do with Lake Lachrymose," Mr.
Poe said, "but she didn''t say why. Perhaps it has to do with her
husband''s death. Your Aunt Josephine--she''s not really your aunt,
of course; she''s your second cousin''s sister-in-law, but asked that
you call her Aunt Josephine--your Aunt Josephine lost her husband
recently, and it may be possible that he drowned or died in a boat
accident. It didn''t seem polite to ask how she became a dowager.
Well, let''s put you in a taxi."
"What does that word mean?" Violet asked.
Mr. Poe looked at Violet and raised his eyebrows. "I''m surprised
at you, Violet," he said. "A girl of your age should know that a
taxi is a car which will drive you someplace for a fee. Now, let''s
gather your luggage and walk to the curb."
"''Dowager,''" Klaus whispered to Violet, "is a fancy word for
''widow.''""Thank you," she whispered back, picking up her suitcase
in one hand and Sunny in the other. Mr. Poe was waving his
handkerchief in the air to signal a taxi to stop, and in no time at
all the cabdriver piled all of the Baudelaire suitcases into the
trunk and Mr. Poe piled the Baudelaire children into the back
seat.
"I will say good-bye to you here," Mr. Poe said. "The banking day
has already begun, and I''m afraid if I go with you out to Aunt
Josephine''s I will never get anything done.
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